feminism

Inspired by my uni readings about sexism recently, I’ve been reading a lot more of the ‘feminist’ work out there to see what the ‘modern’ take on it all is. Some of what is happening out there is amazing, I found it truly inspiring to realise that some of my deepest hates (such as the way that “sex sells” is considered as reasonable justification for the constant slutty images of women in advertising, despite the fact that it is actually selling the concept that to be something as a woman you have to be sexually promiscuous and in some ways a pawn/porn in the hands of men) are being fought by feminists – especially as the impression I’d always got from the media was that feminists were BEHIND the idea!!! There are so many amazing things that feminists are doing that I couldn’t list them all, but I have to say that they are truly inspiring!!!
However, some of what I have read also... well ANNOYED me lol. I do strongly believe that no person should be FORCED to fit a stereotype. If someone deviates from the ‘norm’ – that should be ok!!! Not everyone is going to be a carbon copy of our expectations!! However, I found some of the things I read about ‘femininity’ off-putting. There was some stuff out there that seemed to be suggesting that in order for feminism to succeed, women shouldn’t wear pink, shouldn’t be into ‘girly’ things, shouldn’t love fairytales etc etc... because (if I understood the article I read correctly) by conforming to that image we conform to the concept that we are the ‘weak’ sex (ok, so major paraphrasing here coz I’m too lazy to reread and get my wording correct).

They might very well be right, I’ve not read studies on it, or done any research into it. But if that’s the case, I’m so disappointed, because I feel like in the end, we lose again – we have to sell ourselves out and conform to a different concept of women in order to succeed.

I LOVE being a woman. I LOVE dressing up, getting my hair done, watching girly princess movies, LOVE tutus and sparkles and glitter and pink and flowers and pretty smells... I’ve outgrown most of those myself, but I love watching my girls’ faces light up when they get their hands on those things and I LOVE seeing them looking so eatable!! I LOVE bubble baths, and pampering myself, and nail polish, and gossip, and chatting for hours with friends. I LOVE being feminine!!! I love the concept of being romanced and seduced and cared for... I find for myself (and I suspect for many other women), that my femininity is tied up to my sexuality... if you took away my right to be feminine and feel truly beautiful.... well sexuality loses its appeal. I feel that femininity actually expresses something that is a part of me – as a wife and a mother I do consider one of my roles in life is that of a nurturer. Not my only role, but one of my favourites, and the one that I am most proud of. I feel that soft colours don’t express a weakness – it simply expresses something that I am proud of!!

The idea that to become a successful woman I would have to give up those things... well it just doesn’t appeal to me. I don’t consider those things as “weak”. I can’t help feeling that by allowing “sexism” to define them as weak... is letting it win!! I would much rather see a definition/perception change take place!!

Why can’t I love all those things, be all those things.... and still be successful??? If people out there really do consider all of those things as “weak”, then why can’t my success, my girls’ success, and the success of many other women out there prove them wrong??? I don’t want to lose my femininity to be successful. I want to be a successful feminine woman!!! I truly believe you can wear pink and still be as successful in life as a man!! I want my girls to feel confident in their right to express their femininity and not be condescended to or looked down upon because of it!!!!!!!

I truly believe my girls can be as girly as they want without it discrediting their intelligence, their strength, their abilities, their potential. I believe it is their right! Obviously if they express a dislike for any of those girly things, I would never force it on them either!!!!!! I just believe that it is their right to choose, and that their choice should not be permitted to limit their options in life in any area.

Anyway... I just find this blog space is a handy spot for trying to get my own head around my musings... and these were today’s!