Today at Steve's graduation was an example of a conversation I have over and over and OVER again:
"You have THREE!! Wow, you have your hands full!"
"Yep, they're busy little things"
"You're not having MORE though, are you!"
"Ummmm... well... we do want another one in time"
"ANOTHER one!!!" (said with look of half-horror half-disgust)
Yes, introducing me - the one who wants 4 kids, which is apparently quite disgusting a desire in our society today.
So I'm not over 30, and I don't drop my 3yo bilinguistic able-to-write-and-read designer-clad child off with their organic healthy snacks at daycare and work in my high-paid job and come home to my completely clean and sanitised mansion and place my sweet child in bed.
I guess compared to that standard really I am just an underachiever.
And THERE you have the bit that pisses me off. The bit where if you choose to have a large family you must be some kind of sentimental under-achiever who doesn't know what else to do with their lives than get horny and reproduce.
So, I am going to set the record straight.
NUMBER ONE: I am not some love-sick sentimental unambitious sex maniac who wants to reproduce because I love babies. I have spent hours and hours thinking and planning what kind of a family I want to have, what kind of children I want to contribute to the world, what kind of environment I want them to grow up in, and what kind of a family I want around me one day when I am old, and at Christmas, and when my nest is empty. And after studying all the families I most admire, the ones who I felt had a great loving and connected atmosphere and whose children have grown into independent yet loving and connected and balanced adults with great people skills - I came to the conclusion that 4 seemed to create the kind of family atmosphere that I think best suits the goals and values that Steve & I have.
NUMBER TWO: My children are NOT a burden to society, or others' finances. Yes, for 4 years while Steve studied we lived on centrelink payments supplemented with Steve's work. But now, we are no different to any other family with children. WE buy their food, their clothes, their toys, WE will pay their school and education costs - and we are perfectly capable of doing a good job of that. They will not have designer clothes, and they will not get everything they want, but we will provide adequately for their needs and they will not be walking around embarrassed about wearing rags.
NUMBER THREE: I am NOT a non-contributing member of society. I am bringing up beautiful, well-adjusted, considerate, intelligent, thoughtful, polite, fun, loving, affectionate children who I hope will become invaluable members of our society. That in and of itself should be enough!!! But in addition to that I am still working towards goals of my own, where I will contribute in my own ways as well (AKA uni). And although at times I am stressed, I am averaging HDs, I am functioning well enough and the only thing to occasionally suffer is the housework which SURELY isn't the end of the world???
I am not even sure what the exact objections to having 4 children are but I'm hoping I have addressed at least SOME of the concerns the general public have!!!
