A few months ago I watched a video full of advice parents wish someone had given them, and I LOVED it and thought I'd copy... only no video, I'm not that tech-savvy. So based purely on my 4 years experience so far... this is what I'd tell parents-to-be...
1. when you are pregnant and reading all those pregnancy and childbirth books - it's also a good idea to read a book about how to look after a baby - especially reading up on the section about sleeping!!!!!
2. sleep deprivation has been used as a torture technique, so when you start to feel like you are losing it - you probably are!! BUT... when you feel like you really can't do another day, you'll still somehow find the strength within yourself for get through another 5 minutes, followed by another 5 min and so on... until you have made it through another day.
3. one day, your darling big eyed little angel will vomit all over themselves, and you, and their bed, and the floor... and they will be frightened, crying, and hot to touch with bright flushed cheeks and seem so vulnerable that somehow despite how gross the experience is, you will fall even deeper in love with them. Sounds ridiculous, but it really is true!!!
4. The sound of your child(ren) laughing will instantly brighten your day, no matter how hard it has been.
5. All your ideas about parenting ie "I will NEVER..." "MY children won't..." "I plan to continue..." "the baby won't change things too much" "I would NEVER feed my child..." will probably be thrown out the window pretty quickly. But it doesn't make you a failure... just shows that you've learned to respect your child's individual personality and needs and put them first rather than a heap of vague concepts you'd formed based on keeping up appearances.
6. Some days you will fail. Badly. And hate yourself for it. And be convinced that you have injured their emotional wellbeing for life. And carry that guilt for a ridiculous amount of time. It comes with the territory. But the good news is that if we can learn to admit our faults to our children and apologise... then we take the pressure off them to live up to some unattainable level of perfection.
7. Some days you will wonder why you had them. But most of the time you will wonder how you ever existed without them!!
8. Watching a child sleep is one of the most miraculous and beautiful things you could ever see.
9. It doesn't matter how you give birth as long as your child arrives safely. Don't allow feelings of guilt and inadequacy to rob you of the joy that you have brought an incredible little being into this world.
10. People will all tell you a different way that is the "only" right way of doing something. Doesn't mean you have to do it their way, every parent becomes an expert with their own children and can lose sight of the fact that your child is not the same as their child!!
11. On a really bad day, it is ok to stay in your pjs, or give them 2 baths instead of 1, and give them baked beans on toast, or even takeaway if u need, and play reruns of Dora all day... some days you just have to do what you can to get through that day.
12. As a parent, you will be judged. It isn't right that it happens, but it does. And those that are judging will decide that you don't measure up. They are not right, they just like to think they could do better!
13. Your marriage will change. Not in a bad way, just in a different way.
14. When they are throwing a tantrum, blow in their face and they take a breathe. They don't really like it but your ears get a 2 second break and it looks funny.
15. You think you know what love feels like - but when you have a child you realise you never truly knew what love is. Your heart will ache and bleed and swell over them every day, you will stay up worrying about things they haven't even THOUGHT to worry about, you will be ready to rip a child into pieces because they have bullied yours, you will feel intense nostalgia and grief on each birthday, start of the school year, each sighting of a newborn baby etc etc because you can't go back and see them at that stage one last time, you will lie awake worrying about their future, NOBODY will be good enough for your child, you will cry because loving them feels so good and you will cry because loving them and learning to release them bit by bit hurts.
16. There will be so many moments where you doubt yourself and your strength and your abilities, but your child has a way of bringing out the best in you, and you will surprise yourself. You will become 100 times the woman you would have been without them.
17. One of the greatest joys of parenthood is the permission to be crazy. Sing kids songs at the top of your voice doing silly actions. Dance in the rain and jump in puddles. Have tickle fights. Have a food fight. Sing opera at them. Just HAVE FUN coz you won't get another chance till you're old enough to fake dementia!!!
18. When you are offered help, TAKE IT!!!! Yes, your pride is hard to swallow... but remember that you are teaching your children that it's ok to need help, and by you accepting that help - you will be mroe refreshed or reenergised or have that little bit more time to be a better parent anyway!!
19. PND is real. And often you will struggle to admit to yourself that maybe something is wrong because it goes against what you WANTED. And if you have PND, it becomes even harder to admit you need help because you KNOW you are not coping and you don't want people to see you as weak. Having PND does not mean you are a failure, nor does it mean you don't love your kids enough, or that you are not strong enough. It is simply something that is beyond your control, that you didn't plan or create - but with the right help and support, you will find you are strong enough to come through it!!!!!
20. If you can't find your hairbrush check in the watering can. If you can't find your car keys check in the kid's kitchen. ALWAYS check your cards are still in your purse before leaving the house and trying to pay for something - if they are missing check the cushions of the couch in case the kids have posted them down there.
21. Get used to sitting in the doctor's waiting room and the emergency waiting room. Always aim for the doctors first because their wait is shorter.
22. Get your heart checked thoroughly BEFORE kids, because there will be many heart-stopping moments because they are not born with common sense (I think that may kick in in their 20s??)
23. Get ready to be amazed!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I could have kept writing, but they are probably my main ones!!!!
Friday, February 11, 2011
Saturday, February 5, 2011
our family mission statement
Our little family has a "mission statement", an idea we got from an AWESOME book I read a few years ago "7 habits of highly effective families". Anyway, each year I try to review it, and see where we can try to incorporate it more into our daily lives etc, and I thought maybe blogging it might help me think more clearly about it. That & I like to every now & then give people a snapshot of where Steve & I are TRYING to head with our family, so that you all know we at least are trying to be good parents lol... just get stuck on autopilot a lot!!! I've not put them down in any particular order, we priorities them ALL.
1. Responsible:
One of our number one aims as parents is to have our children (gradually!!) become independent, capable, mature and responsible adults. We want them to have the ability to be responsible for themselves and what they have been entrusted with (study, work, money etc), and by responsible we also mean knowing when to ask for help because they can't get something done. We consider it to be an essential life trait, because you can't go far in life if you are irresponsible.
We have found it a difficult trait to teach toddlers though lol. At this point, we cannot ask them to do something, and then not follow up - not because they are disobedient, just because they forget!!! However, we have a few areas that they are "responsible" for, and we as their parents are "responsible" for following them up on them: they are responsible for clearing their plates to the kitchen after each meal, putting their pjs under their pillow, putting their clean clothes away and putting dirty clothes in the laundry, and the big one is they are responsible for packing up their toys.
I'd love to expand on learning responsibility beyond some chores, but at this stage in their lives I just cannot think of any other way of teaching them this trait (any suggestions would be very welcome!!!).
2. Love God
So I can't be bothered in getting into a theological debate about this one, so I'm going to keep it simple. Steve & I honestly and truly believe that God is real, and therefore it is important to us that we talk to our children about what we believe is the truth. Obviously it will be their choice to accept or reject our beliefs, and I am aware of the "indoctrination" debate, it is one that I am still carefully thinking over... but at this point, my opinion on it is as my dad said recently when we were discussing it - that our children are going to get a "life view" from somewhere, and so we would like them to know what our life view is. We both have carefully thought out reasons behind our faith in God, which we are happy to explain to our children when they are old enough to comprehend it, and we have no fear about them learning about other beliefs, including evolution too, because we are happy to give our "proof/rationale' and have them compare and contrast and decide what they believe for themselves.
Anyway, moving on...
so obviously, the faith we have in God means we would really like our children to know God too. At this point, we pray at meal times, and before bed, allowing them to pray in their own way so that they can learn that God is approachable and not just a "religion". We read a toddler devotion at the table with them, take them to church, and if they are afraid or sick pray with them.
3. Have fun
The ability to enjoy life and have fun is absolutely ESSENTIAL!!!!!!!!!!!! The ability to laugh and joke in the hard times has really pulled us both through some tough situations, and well... I'm completely nuts and I've no hope of my kids having any respect for me if they don't have a sense of humour!!!! lol
But we also want to make sure that we have the ability to have fun AS A FAMILY... it's the fun and crazy times that you remember when you look back on life, and I'm sure it must cement relationships and build resilience!!!!
To build this into our culture... well I only have to be me for it to be a little crazy and Steve's about the same hehe. Although the neighbours must wonder at the random really BAD opera singing lol
But also, we try to get out a lot, go to parks etc with the kids, take them fun places, get random icecreams from maccas just coz, we're about to introduce 1 on 1 time for each kid rotating. We're also about to start "family night" on Saturday nights, which we'll take in turns to organise and will ALWAYS involve a milo with marshmallows, and then a movie, or guitar and singing and dancing... and other things young kids find fun!
4. honour others
This one is not necessarily the cultural trend these days, but it is a trait that we both consider valuable and important for the kind of adults we would like to have sent out into the world. We could have used the word "respect", but we felt that "honour" went one step further, incorporating respect, but to give honour to other people is to treat them like they are important, not just with courtesy (bit of semantics, I know, but we still felt there was a subtle difference).
This one is one that we can't easily explicitly teach our children, other than occasionally talking about it with them, and obviously teaching them about not hitting etc.
This one they really learn from observing us treat others with honour, which makes me very uneasy. I know it's an area that I really struggle in in my own life and have LOTS of room for improvement. Steve is much better at honouring others. So, I guess the growth areas here for me is to learn to find a way to honour people rather than whinge about them, to learn to look for the good in people even if I struggle at times to see it, to learn to respect other people's decisions regardless of what I think, to remember that honouring a person is more important than looking after "my rights". Ugh, I have a long journey ahead of me!!
5. encourage others
This one was really important to Steve, and was his addition. Encourage was the closest word we could find to match what he was trying to say, but wasn't completely what he was after. He wanted us to have a family culture and atmosphere that made people feel encouraged and uplifted and capable, that we would be quick with praise and slow with criticism. (well, I think this is what he meant).
This is one area that we've not really been proactive at all at trying to implement, and I'm not entirely sure of the best way of building this into our family culture. (again, your suggestions would be really welcome!!). We're good at telling our kids we love them, and praising them, but I don't think that that is enough. Really not sure at all about the how to of this one, gives me a lot to think about I guess!!!
Anyway, they are our 5!! And this blog is HUGE!!!!
1. Responsible:
One of our number one aims as parents is to have our children (gradually!!) become independent, capable, mature and responsible adults. We want them to have the ability to be responsible for themselves and what they have been entrusted with (study, work, money etc), and by responsible we also mean knowing when to ask for help because they can't get something done. We consider it to be an essential life trait, because you can't go far in life if you are irresponsible.
We have found it a difficult trait to teach toddlers though lol. At this point, we cannot ask them to do something, and then not follow up - not because they are disobedient, just because they forget!!! However, we have a few areas that they are "responsible" for, and we as their parents are "responsible" for following them up on them: they are responsible for clearing their plates to the kitchen after each meal, putting their pjs under their pillow, putting their clean clothes away and putting dirty clothes in the laundry, and the big one is they are responsible for packing up their toys.
I'd love to expand on learning responsibility beyond some chores, but at this stage in their lives I just cannot think of any other way of teaching them this trait (any suggestions would be very welcome!!!).
2. Love God
So I can't be bothered in getting into a theological debate about this one, so I'm going to keep it simple. Steve & I honestly and truly believe that God is real, and therefore it is important to us that we talk to our children about what we believe is the truth. Obviously it will be their choice to accept or reject our beliefs, and I am aware of the "indoctrination" debate, it is one that I am still carefully thinking over... but at this point, my opinion on it is as my dad said recently when we were discussing it - that our children are going to get a "life view" from somewhere, and so we would like them to know what our life view is. We both have carefully thought out reasons behind our faith in God, which we are happy to explain to our children when they are old enough to comprehend it, and we have no fear about them learning about other beliefs, including evolution too, because we are happy to give our "proof/rationale' and have them compare and contrast and decide what they believe for themselves.
Anyway, moving on...
so obviously, the faith we have in God means we would really like our children to know God too. At this point, we pray at meal times, and before bed, allowing them to pray in their own way so that they can learn that God is approachable and not just a "religion". We read a toddler devotion at the table with them, take them to church, and if they are afraid or sick pray with them.
3. Have fun
The ability to enjoy life and have fun is absolutely ESSENTIAL!!!!!!!!!!!! The ability to laugh and joke in the hard times has really pulled us both through some tough situations, and well... I'm completely nuts and I've no hope of my kids having any respect for me if they don't have a sense of humour!!!! lol
But we also want to make sure that we have the ability to have fun AS A FAMILY... it's the fun and crazy times that you remember when you look back on life, and I'm sure it must cement relationships and build resilience!!!!
To build this into our culture... well I only have to be me for it to be a little crazy and Steve's about the same hehe. Although the neighbours must wonder at the random really BAD opera singing lol
But also, we try to get out a lot, go to parks etc with the kids, take them fun places, get random icecreams from maccas just coz, we're about to introduce 1 on 1 time for each kid rotating. We're also about to start "family night" on Saturday nights, which we'll take in turns to organise and will ALWAYS involve a milo with marshmallows, and then a movie, or guitar and singing and dancing... and other things young kids find fun!
4. honour others
This one is not necessarily the cultural trend these days, but it is a trait that we both consider valuable and important for the kind of adults we would like to have sent out into the world. We could have used the word "respect", but we felt that "honour" went one step further, incorporating respect, but to give honour to other people is to treat them like they are important, not just with courtesy (bit of semantics, I know, but we still felt there was a subtle difference).
This one is one that we can't easily explicitly teach our children, other than occasionally talking about it with them, and obviously teaching them about not hitting etc.
This one they really learn from observing us treat others with honour, which makes me very uneasy. I know it's an area that I really struggle in in my own life and have LOTS of room for improvement. Steve is much better at honouring others
5. encourage others
This one was really important to Steve, and was his addition. Encourage was the closest word we could find to match what he was trying to say, but wasn't completely what he was after. He wanted us to have a family culture and atmosphere that made people feel encouraged and uplifted and capable, that we would be quick with praise and slow with criticism. (well, I think this is what he meant).
This is one area that we've not really been proactive at all at trying to implement, and I'm not entirely sure of the best way of building this into our family culture. (again, your suggestions would be really welcome!!). We're good at telling our kids we love them, and praising them, but I don't think that that is enough. Really not sure at all about the how to of this one, gives me a lot to think about I guess!!!
Anyway, they are our 5!! And this blog is HUGE!!!!
Monday, November 29, 2010
sexualisation of women
It really breaks my heart to see that so many young girls/women think that in order to be considered beautiful they need to pose in a sexualised way, sometimes in minimal clothing, lingerie, or nothing at all. I have watched as so many girls that I have thought of as little sisters over the years have put images up of themselves that have horrified me because all I can think of is that not only are they potentially going to attract predators, but they also obviously believe on some level that they will only ever find love through sex.
Don't try to tell me that the media has NOT impacted the development of young viewers because it pretty friggen clear that there is an entire generation of young women who think that to be somebody they need to be a sex icon. How badly have we failed our young women and young men - sex sells in advertising, but it has sold far more than a product, it has sold out our children and our youth. And it isn’t the minority of young women who are selling themselves out, just a quick look around on facebook and you realise how prevalent it is, and how YOUNG some of these girls are!
I probably just sound like a prude and an “out of date, need to keep up with the times” person to some of you... but you know what?? This is NOT what I want for MY daughters.
I want my daughters to know that they are BEAUTIFUL, not merely sexy. I want my daughters to know that they are intelligent, of value, creative, precious, vivacious, fascinating (I use this word in a NON-SEXUAL manner), compassionate, loving - and that in knowing their worth they will never feel the only chance they have of attracting a man is to cheapen their sexuality. A man who needs to see that first to be attracted to them has no right to my daughters and cannot offer them the kind of home I want them to have because he will have missed their FINEST assets – themselves!!
And I DON’T want this for my son either!!!
I’m so fed up with having to constantly filter what comes through our home because EVERYTHING is sexualised now!! I do NOT want my son to think that the only satisfaction he can have in life is found in sex – it’s a lie and it is degrading to him and to women. I want him to know what it is like to love a woman because he respects who she is, not because he wants her for sex.
And it is getting harder and harder for me to protect my children.
Anyway, enough of my thoughts... if you want to read some research for yourself rather than hear me drone on and on... read the following...
http://pediatrics.aappublications.org/cgi/content/abstract/116/1/S1/303
http://forums.newspeakdictionary.com/img/Inadvertent_exposure_to_porn.pdf
http://www.aph.gov.au/Senate/committee/eca_ctte/sexualisation_of_children/gov_response/gov_response.pdf
http://books.google.com.au/books?hl=en&lr=&id=y3ZLN1jcpngC&oi=fnd&pg=PR7&dq=statistics+impact+advertising+sexual+children&ots=km_vaoDdvB&sig=DuUVFk7SDTPr0mlBPdWAXJBQaW4#v=onepage&q&f=false
http://muse.jhu.edu/login?uri=/journals/asr/v001/1.1pollay.html
Don't try to tell me that the media has NOT impacted the development of young viewers because it pretty friggen clear that there is an entire generation of young women who think that to be somebody they need to be a sex icon. How badly have we failed our young women and young men - sex sells in advertising, but it has sold far more than a product, it has sold out our children and our youth. And it isn’t the minority of young women who are selling themselves out, just a quick look around on facebook and you realise how prevalent it is, and how YOUNG some of these girls are!
I probably just sound like a prude and an “out of date, need to keep up with the times” person to some of you... but you know what?? This is NOT what I want for MY daughters.
I want my daughters to know that they are BEAUTIFUL, not merely sexy. I want my daughters to know that they are intelligent, of value, creative, precious, vivacious, fascinating (I use this word in a NON-SEXUAL manner), compassionate, loving - and that in knowing their worth they will never feel the only chance they have of attracting a man is to cheapen their sexuality. A man who needs to see that first to be attracted to them has no right to my daughters and cannot offer them the kind of home I want them to have because he will have missed their FINEST assets – themselves!!
And I DON’T want this for my son either!!!
I’m so fed up with having to constantly filter what comes through our home because EVERYTHING is sexualised now!! I do NOT want my son to think that the only satisfaction he can have in life is found in sex – it’s a lie and it is degrading to him and to women. I want him to know what it is like to love a woman because he respects who she is, not because he wants her for sex.
And it is getting harder and harder for me to protect my children.
Anyway, enough of my thoughts... if you want to read some research for yourself rather than hear me drone on and on... read the following...
http://pediatrics.aappublications.org/cgi/content/abstract/116/1/S1/303
http://forums.newspeakdictionary.com/img/Inadvertent_exposure_to_porn.pdf
http://www.aph.gov.au/Senate/committee/eca_ctte/sexualisation_of_children/gov_response/gov_response.pdf
http://books.google.com.au/books?hl=en&lr=&id=y3ZLN1jcpngC&oi=fnd&pg=PR7&dq=statistics+impact+advertising+sexual+children&ots=km_vaoDdvB&sig=DuUVFk7SDTPr0mlBPdWAXJBQaW4#v=onepage&q&f=false
http://muse.jhu.edu/login?uri=/journals/asr/v001/1.1pollay.html
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
it's healthy for mums to do things differently!!
So, before I start this blog I should write a disclaimer to make it 100% clear that I am NOT talking about situations where children are abused or neglected or put in an unsafe situation!!! I strongly believe that a parent's job is to protect and nurture their children, and do NOT endorse or support and parents' decision to do otherwise!!!
Why is it that as soon as a mother is pregnant we feel we need to start pushing our ideas of what a "perfect" parent is on her? And the questions we ask as soon as they give birth... Was it a natural delivery? She didn't have PAIN RELIEF did she? She is breastfeeding isn't she? And the killer... how does she look? (AKA please tell me she looks fat and flabby still).
We then move on to sleeping through competitions, happy baby competitions, work vs stay-at-home mum debates, bf vs bottle competitions, how long we bf for, dummy vs no dummy, parenting styles, smacking vs timeout vs distraction vs all the other styles of discipline (or in some cases "not disciplining"), kinder/school vs homeschooling, and omg I could keep listing them.
So why do we as parents... ok, so to be more specific given I've never heard a male talk about this topic ever... MOTHERS... why do we feel we have a right to judge other's for their parenting styles, and assume that OUR way is the ONLY way and the BEST way for all?!!!!!
Do you know what? Being a mum is a TOUGH GIG no matter how you approach it!!
And do you know what else? Shock horror... I couldn't give a stuff HOW a mother delivers her baby, as long as the baby makes it there safe and healthy!!! I'll admit if u find a completely pain-free, scar-free quick and easy method for delivery I'll be jealous!! But if not, then whether u have your baby as a "normal" vaginal delivery, or via c-section, or are induced, or have pain relief, or don't have pain relief... is up to you, I couldn't care less, it is YOUR baby? And I don't at all understand why some people think it is a big deal??
And as for breast vs bottle - YES breast is a healthier option for a baby... but ultimately, sometimes it is not an option... and formula these days is not so bad that your baby is going to be neglected or die or be malnourished for life or something!! So again, I think it is no-one else's business!!!
And working vs stay-at-home - AGAIN... none of my business! No1 has the right to decide that their method is best for somebody else's situation. Being a stay-at-home mum is a tough gig, but so is being a working mum. Both have it tough, both have to weigh up and balance the pros and cons, both have to work hard... but good kids can come out of both situations provided the parents have a strong commitment to loving and supporting their children!!
We all bring a unique outlook and style and methods to our own unique family.... how about instead of criticising and judging each other, we just accept that at the end of the day - if a mother loves her child and is trying to choose what she believes is best for her child - THAT is all that matters!! And our world is better off for not spitting out little carbon copy children - if we all did the EXACT same thing, our kids would not be as amazingly unique as they are!!
So next time you see a mum parenting differently to you, shut your mouth and smile!!
Why is it that as soon as a mother is pregnant we feel we need to start pushing our ideas of what a "perfect" parent is on her? And the questions we ask as soon as they give birth... Was it a natural delivery? She didn't have PAIN RELIEF did she? She is breastfeeding isn't she? And the killer... how does she look? (AKA please tell me she looks fat and flabby still).
We then move on to sleeping through competitions, happy baby competitions, work vs stay-at-home mum debates, bf vs bottle competitions, how long we bf for, dummy vs no dummy, parenting styles, smacking vs timeout vs distraction vs all the other styles of discipline (or in some cases "not disciplining"), kinder/school vs homeschooling, and omg I could keep listing them.
So why do we as parents... ok, so to be more specific given I've never heard a male talk about this topic ever... MOTHERS... why do we feel we have a right to judge other's for their parenting styles, and assume that OUR way is the ONLY way and the BEST way for all?!!!!!
Do you know what? Being a mum is a TOUGH GIG no matter how you approach it!!
And do you know what else? Shock horror... I couldn't give a stuff HOW a mother delivers her baby, as long as the baby makes it there safe and healthy!!! I'll admit if u find a completely pain-free, scar-free quick and easy method for delivery I'll be jealous!! But if not, then whether u have your baby as a "normal" vaginal delivery, or via c-section, or are induced, or have pain relief, or don't have pain relief... is up to you, I couldn't care less, it is YOUR baby? And I don't at all understand why some people think it is a big deal??
And as for breast vs bottle - YES breast is a healthier option for a baby... but ultimately, sometimes it is not an option... and formula these days is not so bad that your baby is going to be neglected or die or be malnourished for life or something!! So again, I think it is no-one else's business!!!
And working vs stay-at-home - AGAIN... none of my business! No1 has the right to decide that their method is best for somebody else's situation. Being a stay-at-home mum is a tough gig, but so is being a working mum. Both have it tough, both have to weigh up and balance the pros and cons, both have to work hard... but good kids can come out of both situations provided the parents have a strong commitment to loving and supporting their children!!
We all bring a unique outlook and style and methods to our own unique family.... how about instead of criticising and judging each other, we just accept that at the end of the day - if a mother loves her child and is trying to choose what she believes is best for her child - THAT is all that matters!! And our world is better off for not spitting out little carbon copy children - if we all did the EXACT same thing, our kids would not be as amazingly unique as they are!!
So next time you see a mum parenting differently to you, shut your mouth and smile!!
Saturday, August 14, 2010
"christian values" in the upcoming election...
Ok... so what I have to say is probably highly controversial and will probably offend many out there, but meh... it's MY blog so MY opinions!
So with the election coming up there are a lot of different opinions on how one should vote... and one of the things that has been put together is a table of "Christian" values on which party believes what to help us make a "Christian" decision in regards to our countries leader.
Now don't get me wrong... I am not saying that what is on that table is unimportant and not worth considering when making a decision in regards to our countries future. I am all for freedom of speech, protecting our environment, giving parents freedom of choice in their child's education etc etc.
What concerned me is that this list of "Christian" values mostly consisted of what concerns... well... Christians!! I could be wrong, I don't know the entire bible off by heart... but... my understanding of Jesus wasn't that he thought we should fight for our morals and that is our focus here on earth, and we should force those morals on all and that this is what he has called us to do... I kind of got the impression he kind of left that for the Pharisees and that his focus was grace, and reaching out to the poor, helpless and oppressed. Yet... I didn't see on that list of "Christian" values details on which party has the best policies on mental health, on those living beneath the poverty line, on giving financial and practical aid to those in other countries who so desperately rely on their richer neighbours for support, on breaching the gap in health etc with our Indigenous population, on supporting widows, single mothers, the many children within our foster system, on the growing homeless population and so and so on... and that really concerned me!!!
Anyway, I just couldn't let it go by, I had to say something because it seemed to me that many Christians could end up casting their votes based on "Christian" values... but not necessarily "Jesus" values.
So.... can I encourage you... do some research and dig a little deeper into our candidates policies and make sure that we don't turn our nose up at a political candidate who may have fewer "Christian" values but more "Jesus" values.
So with the election coming up there are a lot of different opinions on how one should vote... and one of the things that has been put together is a table of "Christian" values on which party believes what to help us make a "Christian" decision in regards to our countries leader.
Now don't get me wrong... I am not saying that what is on that table is unimportant and not worth considering when making a decision in regards to our countries future. I am all for freedom of speech, protecting our environment, giving parents freedom of choice in their child's education etc etc.
What concerned me is that this list of "Christian" values mostly consisted of what concerns... well... Christians!! I could be wrong, I don't know the entire bible off by heart... but... my understanding of Jesus wasn't that he thought we should fight for our morals and that is our focus here on earth, and we should force those morals on all and that this is what he has called us to do... I kind of got the impression he kind of left that for the Pharisees and that his focus was grace, and reaching out to the poor, helpless and oppressed. Yet... I didn't see on that list of "Christian" values details on which party has the best policies on mental health, on those living beneath the poverty line, on giving financial and practical aid to those in other countries who so desperately rely on their richer neighbours for support, on breaching the gap in health etc with our Indigenous population, on supporting widows, single mothers, the many children within our foster system, on the growing homeless population and so and so on... and that really concerned me!!!
Anyway, I just couldn't let it go by, I had to say something because it seemed to me that many Christians could end up casting their votes based on "Christian" values... but not necessarily "Jesus" values.
So.... can I encourage you... do some research and dig a little deeper into our candidates policies and make sure that we don't turn our nose up at a political candidate who may have fewer "Christian" values but more "Jesus" values.
Thursday, May 27, 2010
Dear General Public: Yes, Sienna is a little doll. Yes, she does give beautiful smiles!!! Yes, Josh is a little character and full of life, yes he does have white blonde hair etc etc. But before you move on you've missed someone... and it's a very special little someone who does notice that between her brother's antics and her baby sister's babyness that she does get overlooked whenever we are out and about... and so I want to make sure I introduce and make sure everyone in my online world at least gets to stop and have a good look at my beautiful first born daughter - Chloe Renee Devenish.
In just one day Chloe can be a princess, a beautiful ballerina, a fairy, a mummy, a mean girl being mean to the sisters, a fireman, a doctor and so on... she has the most vivid imagination!! At times I wonder if she is aware of the line between reality and imaginary worlds she slips so easily in between the two. She puts on fantastic voices, although I cringe when I hear the mummy telling off the kids voice... I hope I don't REALLY sound like that! The storylines to her make believe worlds are fascinating... the main theme seems to be someone being mean to others and the others feeling sad about it and so her favourite character says "oh" really sadly to comfort them... not surprising really because so far Chloe has shown herself to be the most empathetic of my children. She can't bear to see someone upset and is very sensitive to boys or other kids being rough or mean to one another... you can hear in her voice when she comes home from kinder how concerned she is when she has seen another kid pushing someone else. I know myself that if she ever sees me upset she becomes so concerned that I end up concerned about her!!!!!!!!!!
When it comes to funny comments, Chloe is the queen. Her perspective of the world is so unique and strange and... hilarious! I laugh several times a day at the funny things that she has to say. Even her way of talking is funny... it goes something like "I wanted da milk over on dee table"... and has two pitches, very high and girly, or this funny little low voice. Some of my favourite quotes of hers - "does daddy miss your milks when he goes to uni?", "Dumma, are you old dumma?", "when joshie grows up will he drink from daddy's milks?" and "when I grow up I will marry Joshie". (And yes, she may have had a bit of a fascination with breastfeeding for a while)
Chloe is an extremely placid, easy going, sweet natured and well behaved girl. She has her moments (such as when a bit of her sandwich is cut crooked) but generally, a stern voice or 1/2min on time out will cure her... she did not inherit her mother's terrible stubborn streak! She loves cuddles and tickles, loves people and omg she LOVES to talk... she does NOT shut up!!! She also is little miss organised... tonight for example was a game in which her and Josh had to pack her kinder bag with all kinds of stuff, and then they had to drive to another point to pick up more things to put in her bag, and then another spot which was Josh's kinder apparently and so on.
She LOVES dancing, especially ballet. I have no idea what skills you'd expect in a child of her age, but as far as we are concerned (as extremely unbiased judges hehe) she has a gifting in dancing... she watches ballet on tv/computer intently and then copies - not perfectly, but it is amazing to watch a 3yr old's hand movements become softer to match what she is seeing! She is ridiculously flexible (as kids are) and so can do the splits with her legs in the air!! She also has a love of music - she sings a lot, and makes up her own songs... which are usually hilarious to listen to although you have to keep a straight face!
We are so incredibly blessed to have Chloe. She is my sweet little ray of sunshine who does not have a malicious bone in her body but is full of kindness, empathy, laughter and her own unique way of viewing the world. When I look back on my pregnancy with Chloe in which we nearly lost her so many times... it seems incredible that that tiny speck that was being threatened was the beautiful vivacious girl who now clings to me for cuddles!!!
And so, that is a tiny glimpse of my Chloe... I couldn't possibly capture the true essence of her unique and precious personality on here but I at least have given it a go!!!
In just one day Chloe can be a princess, a beautiful ballerina, a fairy, a mummy, a mean girl being mean to the sisters, a fireman, a doctor and so on... she has the most vivid imagination!! At times I wonder if she is aware of the line between reality and imaginary worlds she slips so easily in between the two. She puts on fantastic voices, although I cringe when I hear the mummy telling off the kids voice... I hope I don't REALLY sound like that! The storylines to her make believe worlds are fascinating... the main theme seems to be someone being mean to others and the others feeling sad about it and so her favourite character says "oh" really sadly to comfort them... not surprising really because so far Chloe has shown herself to be the most empathetic of my children. She can't bear to see someone upset and is very sensitive to boys or other kids being rough or mean to one another... you can hear in her voice when she comes home from kinder how concerned she is when she has seen another kid pushing someone else. I know myself that if she ever sees me upset she becomes so concerned that I end up concerned about her!!!!!!!!!!
When it comes to funny comments, Chloe is the queen. Her perspective of the world is so unique and strange and... hilarious! I laugh several times a day at the funny things that she has to say. Even her way of talking is funny... it goes something like "I wanted da milk over on dee table"... and has two pitches, very high and girly, or this funny little low voice. Some of my favourite quotes of hers - "does daddy miss your milks when he goes to uni?", "Dumma, are you old dumma?", "when joshie grows up will he drink from daddy's milks?" and "when I grow up I will marry Joshie". (And yes, she may have had a bit of a fascination with breastfeeding for a while)
Chloe is an extremely placid, easy going, sweet natured and well behaved girl. She has her moments (such as when a bit of her sandwich is cut crooked) but generally, a stern voice or 1/2min on time out will cure her... she did not inherit her mother's terrible stubborn streak! She loves cuddles and tickles, loves people and omg she LOVES to talk... she does NOT shut up!!! She also is little miss organised... tonight for example was a game in which her and Josh had to pack her kinder bag with all kinds of stuff, and then they had to drive to another point to pick up more things to put in her bag, and then another spot which was Josh's kinder apparently and so on.
She LOVES dancing, especially ballet. I have no idea what skills you'd expect in a child of her age, but as far as we are concerned (as extremely unbiased judges hehe) she has a gifting in dancing... she watches ballet on tv/computer intently and then copies - not perfectly, but it is amazing to watch a 3yr old's hand movements become softer to match what she is seeing! She is ridiculously flexible (as kids are) and so can do the splits with her legs in the air!! She also has a love of music - she sings a lot, and makes up her own songs... which are usually hilarious to listen to although you have to keep a straight face!
We are so incredibly blessed to have Chloe. She is my sweet little ray of sunshine who does not have a malicious bone in her body but is full of kindness, empathy, laughter and her own unique way of viewing the world. When I look back on my pregnancy with Chloe in which we nearly lost her so many times... it seems incredible that that tiny speck that was being threatened was the beautiful vivacious girl who now clings to me for cuddles!!!
And so, that is a tiny glimpse of my Chloe... I couldn't possibly capture the true essence of her unique and precious personality on here but I at least have given it a go!!!
Saturday, May 15, 2010
The moments that define you (another "Christian" blog)
So here are a few things that have been on my mind lately, mostly have come up due to the book we are reading as a connect group (Strong women, soft hearts by Paula Rinehart... AWESOME book). It is nothing new or mindblowing but I just wanted to write about it because it helps me get my head around what I'm thinking about deep down.
There comes a point in your walk with God where you start to realise that not everything is going to work out in the exact way you would have liked. That some things are not going to be ok (at least, not in your eyes), and that God is not going to do things in your way, in your time. God is not tame; unlike some examples of imperfect parenting on earth, our Heavenly Father is not ruled by our every whim & desire. And there are moments that we can never understand what the reasons are, but we are asked to walk through some great pain that seems unnecessary and destructive and we can't understand how that could POSSIBLY be God's will!
Those moments define you.
It is in that moment that you have a choice to make... a choice to become bitter and cynical and harden your heart and promise yourself to never allow ANYONE to hurt you again, especially not God. Or you make the decision, no matter what happens, no matter what price I pay, no matter if things never are ok, I will not stop following you God. As the disciples said "where else would we go?"
The amazing thing I have found is that once you make the decision, yes - you still may walk through some great pain, yes things still may not work out how you wanted... but somehow within that decision comes a great peace - the peace that surpasses all understanding. How incredible that somehow, in the middle of something that we never wanted to see happen, we are granted a peace because of our trust in the faithful & loving character of our Father!!!!!!!
And that is all I have to say!!!!!!!!!!
There comes a point in your walk with God where you start to realise that not everything is going to work out in the exact way you would have liked. That some things are not going to be ok (at least, not in your eyes), and that God is not going to do things in your way, in your time. God is not tame; unlike some examples of imperfect parenting on earth, our Heavenly Father is not ruled by our every whim & desire. And there are moments that we can never understand what the reasons are, but we are asked to walk through some great pain that seems unnecessary and destructive and we can't understand how that could POSSIBLY be God's will!
Those moments define you.
It is in that moment that you have a choice to make... a choice to become bitter and cynical and harden your heart and promise yourself to never allow ANYONE to hurt you again, especially not God. Or you make the decision, no matter what happens, no matter what price I pay, no matter if things never are ok, I will not stop following you God. As the disciples said "where else would we go?"
The amazing thing I have found is that once you make the decision, yes - you still may walk through some great pain, yes things still may not work out how you wanted... but somehow within that decision comes a great peace - the peace that surpasses all understanding. How incredible that somehow, in the middle of something that we never wanted to see happen, we are granted a peace because of our trust in the faithful & loving character of our Father!!!!!!!
And that is all I have to say!!!!!!!!!!
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