So, before I start this blog I should write a disclaimer to make it 100% clear that I am NOT talking about situations where children are abused or neglected or put in an unsafe situation!!! I strongly believe that a parent's job is to protect and nurture their children, and do NOT endorse or support and parents' decision to do otherwise!!!
Why is it that as soon as a mother is pregnant we feel we need to start pushing our ideas of what a "perfect" parent is on her? And the questions we ask as soon as they give birth... Was it a natural delivery? She didn't have PAIN RELIEF did she? She is breastfeeding isn't she? And the killer... how does she look? (AKA please tell me she looks fat and flabby still).
We then move on to sleeping through competitions, happy baby competitions, work vs stay-at-home mum debates, bf vs bottle competitions, how long we bf for, dummy vs no dummy, parenting styles, smacking vs timeout vs distraction vs all the other styles of discipline (or in some cases "not disciplining"), kinder/school vs homeschooling, and omg I could keep listing them.
So why do we as parents... ok, so to be more specific given I've never heard a male talk about this topic ever... MOTHERS... why do we feel we have a right to judge other's for their parenting styles, and assume that OUR way is the ONLY way and the BEST way for all?!!!!!
Do you know what? Being a mum is a TOUGH GIG no matter how you approach it!!
And do you know what else? Shock horror... I couldn't give a stuff HOW a mother delivers her baby, as long as the baby makes it there safe and healthy!!! I'll admit if u find a completely pain-free, scar-free quick and easy method for delivery I'll be jealous!! But if not, then whether u have your baby as a "normal" vaginal delivery, or via c-section, or are induced, or have pain relief, or don't have pain relief... is up to you, I couldn't care less, it is YOUR baby? And I don't at all understand why some people think it is a big deal??
And as for breast vs bottle - YES breast is a healthier option for a baby... but ultimately, sometimes it is not an option... and formula these days is not so bad that your baby is going to be neglected or die or be malnourished for life or something!! So again, I think it is no-one else's business!!!
And working vs stay-at-home - AGAIN... none of my business! No1 has the right to decide that their method is best for somebody else's situation. Being a stay-at-home mum is a tough gig, but so is being a working mum. Both have it tough, both have to weigh up and balance the pros and cons, both have to work hard... but good kids can come out of both situations provided the parents have a strong commitment to loving and supporting their children!!
We all bring a unique outlook and style and methods to our own unique family.... how about instead of criticising and judging each other, we just accept that at the end of the day - if a mother loves her child and is trying to choose what she believes is best for her child - THAT is all that matters!! And our world is better off for not spitting out little carbon copy children - if we all did the EXACT same thing, our kids would not be as amazingly unique as they are!!
So next time you see a mum parenting differently to you, shut your mouth and smile!!
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