1. Responsible:
One of our number one aims as parents is to have our children (gradually!!) become independent, capable, mature and responsible adults. We want them to have the ability to be responsible for themselves and what they have been entrusted with (study, work, money etc), and by responsible we also mean knowing when to ask for help because they can't get something done. We consider it to be an essential life trait, because you can't go far in life if you are irresponsible.
We have found it a difficult trait to teach toddlers though lol. At this point, we cannot ask them to do something, and then not follow up - not because they are disobedient, just because they forget!!! However, we have a few areas that they are "responsible" for, and we as their parents are "responsible" for following them up on them: they are responsible for clearing their plates to the kitchen after each meal, putting their pjs under their pillow, putting their clean clothes away and putting dirty clothes in the laundry, and the big one is they are responsible for packing up their toys.
I'd love to expand on learning responsibility beyond some chores, but at this stage in their lives I just cannot think of any other way of teaching them this trait (any suggestions would be very welcome!!!).
2. Love God
So I can't be bothered in getting into a theological debate about this one, so I'm going to keep it simple. Steve & I honestly and truly believe that God is real, and therefore it is important to us that we talk to our children about what we believe is the truth. Obviously it will be their choice to accept or reject our beliefs, and I am aware of the "indoctrination" debate, it is one that I am still carefully thinking over... but at this point, my opinion on it is as my dad said recently when we were discussing it - that our children are going to get a "life view" from somewhere, and so we would like them to know what our life view is. We both have carefully thought out reasons behind our faith in God, which we are happy to explain to our children when they are old enough to comprehend it, and we have no fear about them learning about other beliefs, including evolution too, because we are happy to give our "proof/rationale' and have them compare and contrast and decide what they believe for themselves.
Anyway, moving on...
so obviously, the faith we have in God means we would really like our children to know God too. At this point, we pray at meal times, and before bed, allowing them to pray in their own way so that they can learn that God is approachable and not just a "religion". We read a toddler devotion at the table with them, take them to church, and if they are afraid or sick pray with them.
3. Have fun
The ability to enjoy life and have fun is absolutely ESSENTIAL!!!!!!!!!!!! The ability to laugh and joke in the hard times has really pulled us both through some tough situations, and well... I'm completely nuts and I've no hope of my kids having any respect for me if they don't have a sense of humour!!!! lol
But we also want to make sure that we have the ability to have fun AS A FAMILY... it's the fun and crazy times that you remember when you look back on life, and I'm sure it must cement relationships and build resilience!!!!
To build this into our culture... well I only have to be me for it to be a little crazy and Steve's about the same hehe. Although the neighbours must wonder at the random really BAD opera singing lol
But also, we try to get out a lot, go to parks etc with the kids, take them fun places, get random icecreams from maccas just coz, we're about to introduce 1 on 1 time for each kid rotating. We're also about to start "family night" on Saturday nights, which we'll take in turns to organise and will ALWAYS involve a milo with marshmallows, and then a movie, or guitar and singing and dancing... and other things young kids find fun!
4. honour others
This one is not necessarily the cultural trend these days, but it is a trait that we both consider valuable and important for the kind of adults we would like to have sent out into the world. We could have used the word "respect", but we felt that "honour" went one step further, incorporating respect, but to give honour to other people is to treat them like they are important, not just with courtesy (bit of semantics, I know, but we still felt there was a subtle difference).
This one is one that we can't easily explicitly teach our children, other than occasionally talking about it with them, and obviously teaching them about not hitting etc.
This one they really learn from observing us treat others with honour, which makes me very uneasy. I know it's an area that I really struggle in in my own life and have LOTS of room for improvement. Steve is much better at honouring others
5. encourage others
This one was really important to Steve, and was his addition. Encourage was the closest word we could find to match what he was trying to say, but wasn't completely what he was after. He wanted us to have a family culture and atmosphere that made people feel encouraged and uplifted and capable, that we would be quick with praise and slow with criticism. (well, I think this is what he meant).
This is one area that we've not really been proactive at all at trying to implement, and I'm not entirely sure of the best way of building this into our family culture. (again, your suggestions would be really welcome!!). We're good at telling our kids we love them, and praising them, but I don't think that that is enough. Really not sure at all about the how to of this one, gives me a lot to think about I guess!!!
Anyway, they are our 5!! And this blog is HUGE!!!!
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