when I was a kid...

Something that has really really been bothering me lately are the huge changes in parenting over the years. Now, I'm not an expert, so as you read my post please understand that these are my reflections from my perspective, and I am in no way trying to criticise other parents, I am just stating an observation... only time will tell what long-term effects (or lack of long-term effects) modern parenting will have on children and what others choose for their children are their own business. I don't care what others do (well other than when you are talking about parenting that is clearly abusive or going to have clear negative long term implications for a child), but it does bother me that parents look at me sometimes as if I am crazy to parent the way I do and yet in comparison to some previous generations what I do is sooooo tame?!

When I was a kid only the minority of kids had a birthday each year. And when there was a birthday party there was generally a handful of kids invited, not the whole class. Parties in which the entire class were invited were a rarity!

When I was a kid birthday cakes were usually straight out of the Women's weekly cake book. Unless you had a Maccas party... then you had icecream cake with sprinkles.

When I was a kid my mother was more protective than others. Other kids rode their bikes around the streets and disappeared for hours. We rode ours around the court only. We were not the average.

When I was a kid playgrounds were awesomely "dangerous". The seesaws went THUMP and the point of them was to try to get the other person to fly up in the air! And yes I was winded on a seesaw. Monkey bars broke multiple arms. There were these awesome spinning things that you hung onto that bobbed up and down in the air as they swung in a full circle. There were trees to climb. We all copped a few footys in the face. And our parents did not follow us around every item at the playground.

When I was a kid parents were (a little too!!) relaxed about seatbelts in the event you had an extra person to fit into the car and not enough seatbelts. As long as you bobbed down far enough that the cops wouldn't see you you were fine.

I lived too far away from school to walk to school... but hey, when I was a kid parents didn't fret over their kids walking to school. Even preps could be dropped off in the school carpark to find their own way to their classroom (and we didn't get lost!!). And when my mum was a kid they would walk in from miles away to get to school. And when my grandma was a kid her and her brothers would be packed onto the back of a horse and rode that in for miles to get to school!!!

When I was a kid it was ok to leave your kid in the car while you ran into the shops to get a few things (provided it wasn't too hot and the doors were locked).

When I was a kid disappointments were a normal part of life. If you missed a party or a sleepover coz you were sick, it was disappointing but you just had to deal with it. If you didn't win a competition or top a test well that's just how that worked out. If you desperately wanted a new bike or toy of some kind and your parents had no money, you were told so and you had to revise your dreams because money is a fact of life that you have to learn at some point.

When I was a kid we were not rewarded for basic good behaviour. Respect for others was an expectation not an extraordinary effort on your part. If you were told off by a stranger you then copped it from a parent too rather than the stranger copping it from your parent.

When I was a kid I was given opportunities to learn from my mistakes. I learned the rules of gravity first hand. I learned that money has to be earned, and that although I am equal to others, I may not always have the same resources or opportunities as others but that's ok because I need to focus on what resources and opportunities I do have. I learned that my behaviour towards others has consequences. I learned that there are boundaries that when crossed have big consequences for my life. I learned that no matter how I may have felt at the time, sometimes parents or others DO know better than me. I learned to fight fair. I learned that I cannot simply have everything in life that I want - and some things in life I will want and never have. I learned to deal with that!!! I learned to deal with the fact that sometimes life isn't fair, that sometimes things happen that I cannot control and that my parents cannot click their fingers and rescue me from ALL situations because sometimes that is not possible. I learned resilience. I learned independence. I learned perseverance. I learned discipline.

And sometimes I can't help but wonder if my children's generation are going to be given opportunities to learn the same.