In the story Claudia the caterpillar looks at all the butterflies flying around, and decides she wants to fly just like them. She climbs to the highest tree and leaps off - but just falls down. So she makes herself wings out of leaves and leaps from the highest tree - but just falls down. So then she asks God about her desire to fly like a butterfly - but instead of giving her wings, He leads her to the highest branch of the tree, and shuts her into a dark and cramped place. When she comes out of that place (the cocoon) she has grown wings and can fly.
This story completely captured a journey our family has been on, and I have been waiting for the right time to share this journey... and finally I can!
Almost 8 years ago Steve and I married, and I moved up to Sydney where he had been posted with the navy. He had not yet finished his training, so we were looking forward to the 6 months we were going to have together before he would be posted to a ship. We came straight from honeymoon up to Sydney, and had roughly 4 weeks together unpacking boxes, getting used to living with each other (we had spent the previous year in different states!) and trying to teach me how to navigate the maze of Sydney streets... when he was suddenly posted to a ship (despite the fact that he had not completed training). From that moment on he was away for weeks at a time, without any contact, and when he was back he worked long hours, had to do lots of extra weekend shifts, and he was absolutely exhausted. I was a newly married woman with barely a husband.
Around April he set off on a 3 month trip, and I had the 'fun' of eating alone every night miserable, lonely and unsure as to where and how my husband was. The navy lifestyle on the ships was at complete odds with our Christian values. There was a general consensus that what happens on ship stays on ship, and a complete lack of respect for marriage. One woman on the ship decided she would like my husband in her bed (she was dating someone from his ship as it was?!) - fortunately he had the self-discipline to tell her "hell no" (although he was more polite than that... I wouldn't have been if I'd had the chance but Steve banned me from confronting her on the base and telling her what I thought of her
Anyway... long story short, the pressure on our brand new marriage relationship was intense, and neither of us were coping at all with the way things were. I knew without a doubt that the navy lifestyle was bad for our marriage, bad for us as individuals, and I could not believe that it was in line with God's will for us. But... he couldn't just "quit" the navy, there isn't that option... so there was no "out" in the natural for us. One week at church a visiting preacher spoke on prayer, and on the idea that we should not "negotiate" or "manipulate" God - just ask Him outright for what is on our hearts. So, I went home, and I wrote down what I wanted, and I prayed. My prayer and list was simple - "God, this situation is not good for us, and I cannot believe that it is what you want for us. Firstly, I want Steve off that ship and home. Secondly, I want him out of the navy". Within a few weeks Steve was flown home from Cairns after he spoke to his Warrant Officer to say that I wasn't coping. Within a few weeks of this, he was back on the ship, but developed extreme pain in his wrists and right knee. He was again taken off the ship to be assessed by doctors and specialists etc, and diagnosed with arthritis. This arthritis meant he could no longer work on ships, so he was put on shore permanently, and the process of 'medical discharge' was started.
The medical discharge was not a quick process. In fact, it took them over a year! However, he was paid, he was not at sea and his hours were much more normal!! We were incredibly grateful for God's intervention and miracle in finding us a way out of the navy. However, on the flip side, Steve could not work as an electrician as he had been trained because of his arthritis. He decided to retrain and become a podiatrist. It would mean that for 4 years he would be a full-time student, and so money would be tight, but we felt that in the long-term it was the best option.
For 4 years we stuck closely to a budget, and went without a great deal. I would love to say that it was easy, but it wasn't!! When Steve first started studying we applied for Centrelink payments, only to find out that they would not give us anything other than FTB for nearly 6 months because Steve had been given a payout from the navy. Unfortunately for us most of that payout had all gone on paying off car loans (and tax) because we had not expected to lose it. Steve managed to land Saturday work immediately, so we lived on FTB and his Saturday pay, and the little savings we had. I will never forget when the cold weather first hit, and Chloe did not yet fit any of the winter clothes I had, and I had to take her to church in a pair of woollen stockings that were mine as a baby, and a second-hand jumper we had been given. I could not spare any money to buy her anything. I was so blessed that my mum and Aunty went to Savers and found a few items that would fit her, and a few other things from the shops to get us through.
Anyway, 4 years on, 3 children later, and Steve graduated!!! We were soooo looking forward to being 'normal', having 'normal' hours, and good pay!!! Steve had decided that he would like a career in public health as the hours and money were fantastic. As soon as he had finished exams Steve started job hunting, and applied for a job in Berwick at Casey Allied Health. After applying he found out that they were actually NOT the hospital, they were next door to the hospital and PRIVATE! But, with no other jobs advertised, we had no other option but to take the job because his Austudy payments dropped out as soon as he got his marks (even though no student could work for another month because registration isn't processed till then) and the people where he had applied were willing to pay him a reduced rate to 'observe' in the clinics until he was registered (another moment where God's provision came through!).
The hours at his new job were intense. We had been looking forward to having weekends as a family for the first time... but he had to work Saturdays fortnightly. We had been looking forward to him being home more... but the hours were long and late. And the money was better than we had been on, but only enough to just make ends meet. We stuck with it for a year, but towards the end of last year we really felt that enough was enough - we needed better hours and more money. Steve applied for a job in Warragul in public health. We both had such a good feeling about it, I prayed and prayed and prayed and had such a peace about it, I was SURE the job was his! But... just after Christmas we received the news that it had gone to a more experienced podiatrist. 1 month later a 12 month podiatrist position came up at Frankston Hospital, and suddenly it all made sense - aaaaahhh THAT'S what God was up to - He had a job in Frankston prepared for us!! Steve applied... but didn't even get an interview because there were more experienced candidates.
Within 2 weeks of not getting an interview, Steve's boss spoke to him about the possibility of purchasing one of their practices in Carrum Downs. It seemed a very exciting possibility, so we decided to ask for further information. However, that door shut suddenly in our face when we found out that another work colleague had pretty much finished negotiating a deal for Carrum Downs and 2 other practices at other locations. By now I had had enough of constant disappointments and was resigned to having another year of long hours.
At this point another (full-time, permanent) job was advertised at Frankston Hospital, and this time instead of just applying for it, Steve decided to ask what experience they were looking for. This time the door to public health was completely shut for good in our face - the only job you can get in public health now (without prior experience in public health) is a grade 1 position - which are low pay and rare!
It seemed as though every possible door to a better life for us was shut now, and our future work stability was not looking solid. It felt like 4 years of sacrifices while Steve was at uni had led to... nothing?! Ouch!!!
Just when it felt like we had no options, a door reopened. Steve received a call from his work colleague to let us know that he no longer wished to buy the Carrum Downs practice as he felt managing 3 practices was going to require a bigger time commitment than he could spare. We began enquiries and negotiations, and managed to settle on a price we could afford. Incredibly, a few weeks ago our loan was approved on the basis that the business is running successfully (because with no home and barely a cent to our name we could never have borrowed that much ourselves!!). It hasn't been a perfectly smooth road - but every obstacle between us and the opportunity to buy this business has been overcome (at times with tears and prayer and support from others).
Friday 1st June Steve becomes the official new owner and manager of Carrum Downs Podiatry (WOOT WOOT!!!!!). We have another journey ahead of us building the business up to full-time hours, and I am sure it cannot all be easy, but given the incredible provision and faithfulness of God towards us, I know that I can trust Him to make a way through the darkest night. It still blows my mind every time I think about the fact that after LESS THAN 18 months working as a podiatrist, Steve has been able to purchase a healthy established business with existing clients - this is NO ORDINARY scenario for a recent graduate!!!!
God has not answered my prayers in the way I expected - He did not simply hand me my desires, we were not immediately given wings - instead we were first led into a dark and cramped place where it seemed our dreams could not come to fruition... and in that dark and cramped place came the opportunity we so desperately needed. Got to love the weird and wacky and backwards way God works!!!
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